Once a week..

Hello my lovelies!


I'm guessing you have gathered from the title what I'm basically trying to say is that until further notice I will only be doing a blog post once a week. Unfortunately it is just how it is until I've got a routine properly in place as Scott is back at work and I'm trying to do everything at once!


I've started my healthy living. Which has included a change of diet (not some fad diet. I mean a full on life changing diet that I have to live with forever), daily exercise and some gentle detox. Plus looking after my body in the sense of moisturising and such. Its actually taking a lot more to make these changes as its an all at once change which can obviously be daunting to anyone but when you have to work it round cleaning, baby time and such the temptation to just eat bad stuff cause its easier is very tempting indeed.


But I am being good. I'm making meals from scratch instead of take aways or ready meals. This not only benefits myself but it benefits Jack and Scott as they get a healthier diet as well. Scotts in no way out of shape or anything but he doesn't eat healthy either so its a lifestyle change. I have porridge in the morning with blueberries and strawberries mixed in. Lunch I have a toasted sandwich or jacket potato/ new potatoes with some kind of topping and a hunk of veg/salad and for dinner I have my home made soup, which I make with all veg, no potatoes. No cream.


So that's started. Plus I'm trying to go for walks everyday, I didn't today but that was mainly because I did a load of house work and I feel I have worked my butt off and got sweaty so that's pretty good exercise and I haven't even finished yet, still need to hoover and mop the floors! Plus make soup! Gah I need to write a list.


This isn't a proper blog post, I'm going to do one tomorrow! I just really wanted to tidy up today and get the flat all sparkly so I can relax for a bit tomorrow and do the blog post properly. This is a 'Jacks asleep and I've put my feet up for a little while" post. Plus to tell you why I'm going to once a week as of tomorrow.


I still love doing my blog and like I say, once I've sorted my daily routine out then I can fit in a couple more posts during the week. Maybe when Jacks asleep and I've set up my laptop in the bedroom!


So yeah! Wish me luck everyone. Tomorrows post will be about my love for all things Goth! Plus how I use to do my Goth make up and why I toned it down :)


Keep an eye out lovelies!


Take it easy.


Ellie x

What I've been up to! this week.

Hello lovely people.
Another, sort of, diary entry. Yes. I'm sorry.


Well the past week has been a bit of a slow one. I've had a image breakdown, a paranoid episode, laughed until I cried and went to see 'Fifty shades of grey'. What a week!


I'll start with my paranoid episode. I sometimes get these weird moments where I feel I'm being watched or some ones going to hurt me or my family. They come in little spikes every so often. They are horrible.
I had one at the start of the week and nearly deleted my blog because of it. I always think the worst. I hate being in cars and buses are even worse now, I always go through every horrible situation of what could happen when I'm in a car or on a bus. I'm pretty good at keeping it to myself but it makes me feel very odd that I have these thoughts.
I've come to terms with it but every so often its awful. I suddenly think some ones stalking me so delete everything, privatise what I can and freak out (in my mind). Outside it just looks like I'm playing on my phone. Then after I've done all this. I calm down. Regroup. Realise its ridiculous and carry on with my day. So that was a fun 10 minute start to my week!


My image breakdown. My weight more importantly. Now my mum has an illness I wont say what as she may not want me too. But its affecting her and the doctors told her to loose weight and she bloody did it. She went above and beyond. She looks bloody amazing! My sister even put up a before and after picture and I have never felt so proud.
Then I felt like crying. I am the fat one. Its not me having a go at my mum at all. But it gave me a sharp shock. I barely take pictures of my full body because I hate it. I don't wear certain things because I know I'll look gross. I also have the super power of making everyone think I was ok with my weight. I got defensive if anyone brought it up.
So I feel I had a breakthrough. I'm going to do it this time. Not just for me but for Jack and Scott. For my sisters wedding in 2 years time. I refuse to be the fat one anymore. The unhealthy one. I'm not going on some fad diet that won't last. I'm going to change the way I eat entirely. I'm going to walk everyday. I am going to do this!


Onto 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. I like the books and I don't care if you roll your eyes at this next bit as everyone does. But I usually skip most of the sex bits. Not because I'm a prude or whatever. Because its boring. It was over used. I really did like the story behind it all.
Ana and Christian, Ana's relationships with all the characters, the books from her point of view.
The movie was not. The relationships didn't have their passion. The relationship between Christian and Ana wasn't even as passionate or intense as I thought it was going to be. She had witty moments and some parts I smiled and grinned at. But most of it felt very clinical. Christian didn't even have copper coloured hair! What's that about.
 I liked it from Ana's perspective in the book, I liked her little internal arguments. No one looked how I thought they would. Really feel they should have said at the beginning, 'very loosely based on fifty shades of grey... There's sex'.
I will say the 'playroom' is exactly how I imagined it! I was so impressed and Escara was amazing. But things were changed, things were added. I understand they have to change things to fit it in to a movie form but they really could have done better. That's my opinion anyway.


So there you have it. A few things that have happened this week. Wish me luck with my healthy living weight loss!


Take it easy.


Ellie x