What I've been up to! this week.

Hello lovely people.
Another, sort of, diary entry. Yes. I'm sorry.


Well the past week has been a bit of a slow one. I've had a image breakdown, a paranoid episode, laughed until I cried and went to see 'Fifty shades of grey'. What a week!


I'll start with my paranoid episode. I sometimes get these weird moments where I feel I'm being watched or some ones going to hurt me or my family. They come in little spikes every so often. They are horrible.
I had one at the start of the week and nearly deleted my blog because of it. I always think the worst. I hate being in cars and buses are even worse now, I always go through every horrible situation of what could happen when I'm in a car or on a bus. I'm pretty good at keeping it to myself but it makes me feel very odd that I have these thoughts.
I've come to terms with it but every so often its awful. I suddenly think some ones stalking me so delete everything, privatise what I can and freak out (in my mind). Outside it just looks like I'm playing on my phone. Then after I've done all this. I calm down. Regroup. Realise its ridiculous and carry on with my day. So that was a fun 10 minute start to my week!


My image breakdown. My weight more importantly. Now my mum has an illness I wont say what as she may not want me too. But its affecting her and the doctors told her to loose weight and she bloody did it. She went above and beyond. She looks bloody amazing! My sister even put up a before and after picture and I have never felt so proud.
Then I felt like crying. I am the fat one. Its not me having a go at my mum at all. But it gave me a sharp shock. I barely take pictures of my full body because I hate it. I don't wear certain things because I know I'll look gross. I also have the super power of making everyone think I was ok with my weight. I got defensive if anyone brought it up.
So I feel I had a breakthrough. I'm going to do it this time. Not just for me but for Jack and Scott. For my sisters wedding in 2 years time. I refuse to be the fat one anymore. The unhealthy one. I'm not going on some fad diet that won't last. I'm going to change the way I eat entirely. I'm going to walk everyday. I am going to do this!


Onto 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. I like the books and I don't care if you roll your eyes at this next bit as everyone does. But I usually skip most of the sex bits. Not because I'm a prude or whatever. Because its boring. It was over used. I really did like the story behind it all.
Ana and Christian, Ana's relationships with all the characters, the books from her point of view.
The movie was not. The relationships didn't have their passion. The relationship between Christian and Ana wasn't even as passionate or intense as I thought it was going to be. She had witty moments and some parts I smiled and grinned at. But most of it felt very clinical. Christian didn't even have copper coloured hair! What's that about.
 I liked it from Ana's perspective in the book, I liked her little internal arguments. No one looked how I thought they would. Really feel they should have said at the beginning, 'very loosely based on fifty shades of grey... There's sex'.
I will say the 'playroom' is exactly how I imagined it! I was so impressed and Escara was amazing. But things were changed, things were added. I understand they have to change things to fit it in to a movie form but they really could have done better. That's my opinion anyway.


So there you have it. A few things that have happened this week. Wish me luck with my healthy living weight loss!


Take it easy.


Ellie x

Before and After!

Hello Ducks!!

First of all I would like to apologise for not posting in a few days, I have been so busy and my laptop had a fit and it seems to be ok at the moment but we'll see out it goes! So yeah sorry about the disappearance!

Well I have been meaning to do a before and after for quite a while now but its difficult to find the time (and motivation) to put lots of makeup on. But I have finally done it :)

Now I think I've said before I'm no expert in the make up field and I don't wear foundation or anything like that, I usually just stick to eyes and every so often may put something on my lips, but thats still rare. After having Jack I didn't wear makeup at all for a while, then starting put mascara on and then eyeliner and such. SO! since no one sees me in foundation I thought I would do a before and after, with 2 afters. One wear I use a brush to do my foundation and one where I don't. Mostly for me to see the difference a brush can make as well as you lovely lot! Variety right?

To begin with I will just list the products I am using, now I will say now I didn't spend a lot of money on the foundation as I wouldn't be using it a lot (if ever again after this) unless I liked the results, but then I could be fighting a loosing battle as a better foundation could give a better finish then the cheap stuff. So this is sort of a review as well as a before and after.

Products used:

• Rimmel London Fix & Perfect Pro Primer
• Boots Natural Collection ShineAway Foundation - Porcelain
• Boots Natural Collection CoverUp Cream - Fair
• Boots Natural Collection Pressed Powder - Cool
• Boots Natural Collection Suntint Bronzing Powder - Sun Shine
• Boots Natural Collection Blushed Cheeks - Rosey Glow
• MUA (MakeUp Academy) Eyeshadow Palette -Romantic Efflorescense
• MUA (MakeUp Academy) Eyeshadow Palette - Heaven & Earth
• Gosh Kohl/Eyeliner - Black
• Rimmel London Exaggerate Eye Liner - Black
• Scandaleyes - Black (For the first After Pictures)
• Maybelline New York Lash Sensational - Black (In second after pictures)
• Nivea Fruity Shine Lip Salve - Watermelon
• Rimmel London Apolalips - Nude Eclipse (In the second after pictures)

Brushes Used:

• Barry M Concealer brush
• Super Drug Foundation Brush
• Super Drug Power Brush
• Super Drug Contouring Brush
• Gosh Blending Brush (In Second After Pictures)
• Barry M Eyeshadow Brush
• Super Drug Eyelash Curler

Before: Fresh faced and ready to go

First After Pictures using a brush to do foundation

Second After Pictures Without using a foundation brush.

There it is then, my before and 2 afters. 

My review on the Boots Natural collection is this. I don't like it. The foundation is very dry, I tried adding some moisturiser to it to see if it improved it at all but it didn't really make much of a difference. It caked very easily and clustered around my nose and eyes, even the concealer did. I think for a first time person wanting to try foundation/concealer it just isn't worth it. Even at £1.99 each you might as well just save your money and get a decent one, Ask around instead. 

The powder didn't help it at all but it may be different with another foundation. The bronzer wasn't too bad especially if you are going for a more natural look and I like the blush. But all in all steer clear of it. With a brush you could see the brush strokes and when using my hands it caked almost instantly. So I think, unfortunately, I'll be throwing the foundation and concealer away completely. 

I may try MUA foundation and concealer as I really like their eyeshadows. Think they are really well made and a lovely variety of colours at an affordable price. Obviously if I had the money I probably would have bought a more expensive one but as my funds are short I went for the MUA and I'm not disappointed at all. Really love it and at £4 per palette you can't really go wrong!

So I hope you like my before and after post (Sorry again its late) and look out for more in the future and I will be doing a proper review soon on MUA (MakeUp Academy). Hopefully if I have some spare funds soon I'll be able to try their foundation! 

What foundation/concealer etc would you recommend and any comments on my actual make up would be appreciated. I really am just experimenting with it all again and trying to find something that compliments me... but isn't difficult to do!

Thanks beauts

Take it Easy!

Ellie x