Now this post is mainly aimed at parents but I'm sure every one could learn something from it. I might as well.
My little ray of evil sunshine will be a year old in a few weeks time. That has shaken me to my core. Just so weird that nearly 11 months ago my baby was born a tiny 5lb13oz. He was a wiggly skinny little man.
Alot of mums say they forget the pain of childbirth and whilst to the most part that's true for me, I still remember some of it. I remember trying to gain back the control I was quickly loosing through the pain (oh god the pain!). I had been doing relatively well and was even patting myself on the back thinking 'this is fine, I don't know what all the fuss is about'.
I was induced you see. I went in on a Monday for a sizing scan to see if he had gotten any bigger as it was showing he was quite small. They always check your pee and such and My pee was plus 2 protein, my blood pressure was ridiculous and they did some blood tests and my midwife came in, sat down and very calmly said "your blood results have come back an absolute mess so you need to have you baby... We're going to induce you dear"
I remember saying "Yeah why not" had to come some time right? and if my blood was a mess then best to get him out safely. So up went the gel (they are not gentle!) and the waiting began.
But like I said I didn't know what all the fuss was about, had another thing of gel as the first hadn't done anything (ouuuuuuuuch!). Felt little twinges that they said were contractions but it was more like a mild period pain or to men .. Like you'd eaten a bit too much and wanted to undo your button but had guests so you weren't allowed!
More waiting and midwife checked to see if I had dilated at all (OUUUCH) and I was about 2cm ... But she didn't want to wait anymore so she said "Right.. I'm going to break your waters for you. We need to get this going." Okie dokie boss! I just nodded and looked at Scott as the realisation started to crawl in my brain that our baby would be here soon. My mum was on her way as at 6pm on the Tuesday I had my waters broken (slight ouch this time).
It was done, Scott was speaking his mum when I felt the first proper contraction. OOOOUCH. What was that? I grabbed Scott panicking and he looked at me and realised that I was in pain. I went back to my original room where my dad and his fiance were sitting waiting for us.
I was then told to WALK AROUND... to help things get going a bit more. OOOOOUCH... they then brought me some dinner as they felt I hadn't eaten enough and I would needed all the energy I could get for the next 7 hours and 3 minutes exactly. I was bouncing gently on an exercise ball whilst eating a few steamed carrots (I thought it would be carrot sticks but it was literally a plate of steamed carrots). Every time the pain came I would focus on one spot and hum something (the more painful the louder the hum... I hummed the pirates of the Caribbean tune if you're wondering), my dads fiance flannelled my head with cool water during this time (I suggest you have some one do the same, its amazing). We were moved to the labour ward and After about an hour I went onto gas and air... That was good, though the timing was always off, then at 9 I had the diamorphine... It didn't work. At all. Then at 11 I had the epidural. It also didn't work. Gas and air were my only friends but they made it all very hazy.
I remember a burning sensation. I remember talking to my sister on the phone briefly telling her how much I loved her, I think she was crying, Then I remember being told to stop pushing and thinking 'Nope! You wanted me to push and now I'm not stopping' (I should have stopped pushing, 2nd degree tear!) and at 1:03am the 5th March, my baby boy being put on my chest and the haze lifted.
He was here... In my arms. My Jack. The wave of love that swept over me was too much, it felt like I was going to burst.
And now, that tiny, gloopy, wet perfect potato is under 8 weeks away from being 1 and no longer potato like. I remember saying to myself I wouldn't do anything big. I would just have some people round and family and a bit of cake. Because he won't remember, he won't even realise its for him. He'll probably cry a lot. But then I thought...
Sod it. I will give him a party. He'll have cake and we will celebrate. Because its not just for him. Its for me, for his dad, for this amazing year, for the moment he was placed in my arms and that wave of love flooded over me. I will celebrate that with all the people who have loved and helped and been there all through out. I will celebrate the day I was given the most perfect gift and I will spoil him on that day. Because he deserves it as much as we do. He has helped me grow, as much as I've helped him. Hes evil, hes an angel, hes funny, hes naughty and he's mine.
So as much as it may seem silly to some to do too much for him, that he won't remember. He doesn't have to remember. The pictures will show him, I will tell him. I'm so excited 😊
Take it easy. and party like your 1!
Ellie x
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